It’s a slow down - on the roads as well

Brilliant! The Government has come up with another ingenious ploy to mask the economic slowdown. The national speed limit looks set to be cut from 60mph to 50mph on all but the ‘safest’ roads, and this could happen as early as next year.

A tactical recession-reversing policy is the only logic I can apply to this. Our on-road commerce will all move that bit slower, in tune with the general trading slowdown - a speed reduction of over 17% should more than do it.

To help us adapt to this new pace of life we are going to be watched over by lots and lots more of those wonderful average speed cameras - you won’t be able to say we have not been given every possible assistance to conform.

Of course the official line is that these new measures will be introduced to cut the number of road deaths caused by speeding vehicles, so please immediately cast the next thought from your mind - that this could be anything at all to do with transferring more money from motorists’ wallets to the state coffers.