Ties a bind - and mine’s gone (almost)

OK, so when exactly was it that the all-powerful Lord of Sartorial Acceptibility tapped us blokes on the shoulder, pointed to our tie and declared: “OK, you can take that off now son!”

I really can’t remember when, but it’s definitely happened. I’ve been given the thumbs up by his Lordship to leave my fine collection of timeless neck ties hanging forlornly at the back of my wardrobe, wrench open my top button and proceed in comfort.

But I have to say it’s taken some getting used to. Until recently I had worn a tie all of my working life and before that had been to a school where being caught tie-less was a flogging offence. Although I have taken my stance I haven’t been able to completely shrug off those old tie puzzlers, like...

...if ties really are considered to make us look smarter - why is that? Is it the extra effort required to wrap one around your neck and rush out a cross-knot, that means you are a bit more diligent and hard working than your open-necked brother?

...or is it a question of modesty? With jacket buttoned up and tie pulled tight, very little of that racy M&S easy-iron was on show to turn the heads of the impressionable girls in the typing pool

...or was it just the most brilliant piece of fashion PR ever by the Association of Master Tie-makers - ‘Look here! If you don’t where a tie you won’t be taken seriously by anyone so splash the cash and stock up with a nice silk selection.’

These questions still prey on my mind and in occasional moments of doubt - I find myself worrying about being considered lazy, a wanton exhibitionist or seen as short of funds to buy a fine polyester polka-dot. Damn it, the Prince of Tie Guilt has still got me in a half-windsor!

Jez