Quiet please - it's the law!

Every day I get home at the moment my letterbox is choking with political leaflets - all smiley faces and snappy manifestos.
The most recent infestation of election literature led me to re-visit a favourite little game I play from time to time - it’s called ‘If I was in charge, what new laws would I impose on my subjects?’ I’ve designed many new laws over the years - all carefully considered and so practical I’m always left wondering why no one else has ever had the foresight to push through such common sense legislation.
My file marked ‘Still to become law’ is chocka with reasoned theory and white paper first drafts. Among my greatest moments have been... instant extradition for motorists who drive too close to cyclists, a complete ban on all reality TV shows and a re-structure of the alcohol taxation system whereby beer, lager and Australian red wine would be zero rated and Sherry and Lambrusco drinkers would make up the revenue shortfall.
This weekend another document has been added to the file, concerning the use of high-pitched electrical garden machinery. During the months May to September no irritating electrical devices like strimmers, hedge cutters, silly little excuses for mowers and those ridiculous leaf blowing devices, can be used - at all!
Anyone found contravening this new legislation would be shown no leniency and community weeding sentences imposed with immediate effect. Seeing as I thought of the law the first offenders would start on my garden...quietly!